2. Clapton Is God

This one is really a matter of perspective and interpretation. Appearing on the wall of the Islington tube station in the mid 60s, the scrawled piece of graffiti began spreading, cementing Claptons burgeoning reputation as a guitarist of note. Yet is Clapton truly God or is he just a fortunate guitar twanger with a conscientious press agent? Firstly, according to the bastion of the English language, dictionary.com, God is defined as, the one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe. So right there, literally speaking, I think that we can all agree that no matter how good a guitarist someone is, it doesnt necessarily make them the ruler of the universe. Perhaps. Secondly, viewed from an atheistic viewpoint, the comment is actually derogatory, insinuating that Eric Clapton does, in fact, not exist, which is just confusing, disorienting and leaves one wondering who or what wrote Layla. Lastly and theistically speaking, if God were a musician, he would not be a guitarist. There is, unfortunately, no mention of the electric guitar in the Bible, what with plectrums not having been invented yet. The musical instruments focused on in the book of the Lord are more, quaint and featured in Psalm 150; " Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!" So there, let it be put to rest; God is a one-man band, kind of like Prince but more, you know, Christian.
VERDICT: False. Eric Clapton is too short to be God.