7 Reasons Why Oasis Are The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Britain

In the 1990s, Oasis cultivated a wild reputation for themselves while simultaneously churning out some of the most anodyne, by-numbers musical beige ever known. Their records were not dangerous like the Pistols, their music did not lead to the gulag like Pussy Riot, and they have never been accused of inspiring a massacre like Marilyn Manson. Instead, nothing in their musical canon would make Mary Whitehouse even blush. When your vacuous singalong twaddle has become a wedding staple, you can’t call yourself bad boys. But still they try.

Let’s have a look at some of the kerrrrrazy things they did off stage: they’ve had mass brawls (with Chelsea fans and alleged mafioso most memorably) in numerous locations across the world; Noel and Liam have had many, many public fallings out, which have often descended into violence; they’ve almost been banned from airlines for bad behaviour; Noel, in a particularly lovely statement, said he hoped Blur would “die of AIDS”; Channel 4 satire Brass Eye even jokingly claimed that Liam had a staircase made entirely of cocaine, something not beyond the realms of possibility.

This particularly stupid part of the whole Oasis myth was excellently skewered on The Fast Show, where for one week only, regular sketch Jazz Club was replaced with Indie Club, which you can watch above. In the clip, Colon could only be more similar to Oasis if their name had been Shine, pronounced with about 8 Es in the middle.