7 Reasons Why Oasis Are The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Britain

Gallagher Junior’s hair - seemingly inspired by a Playmobil village idiot and executed by a one-handed YTS dropout - has taken on a life of its own in recent years. A beer-stained Burberry version of Jennifer Aniston’s hairdo in early episodes of Friends, you see it everywhere.

Paul Weller has it, and he in turn inspired Bradley Wiggins to have it. Ratboy from The Enemy copied it, as did Everton footballer Leighton Baines, a man who probably brings a guitar into the dressing room. If we can digress for a second, Oasis are also responsible for the proliferation of acoustic guitars at parties these days, not to mention the blue side of Liverpool’s football ground. Oh, you brought your guitar along did you? You’re going to sing Wonderwall are you? Excuse me while I call in a bomb threat to end this party right now because you’ve killed it mate, ruined it.

But back to Liam’s My First Haircut. Quite why this coiffured catastrophe is so staggeringly popular is completely baffling. You immediately know what anyone sporting it will be like. They’ll be pub bores, regaling you with received wisdom while barely suppressed rage simmers just below the surface, ready to explode at any second.

They’re the kind of people you need to avoid, so really this is one thing we should thank Oasis for. But we won’t thank them for it. We’ll pillory and chastise them, because that’s exactly what they deserve.