7 Reasons Why Oasis Are The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Britain

Every few weeks, we see a new band foisted upon us who, their hysterically ridiculous press release will claim, are “the new Oasis”. The Subways were called it by Michael Eavis. Kasabian, perhaps the most natural heirs to the Gallaghers’ crown of stupidity, have also had the title bestowed on them. Even bands like Travis, Twisted Wheel, The Music and Northern Uproar have at one time or another seen this laziest of comparisons thrown about with abandon.

And it still happens today. Just last month, Alias Kid were given the moniker “the new Oasis” by The Mirror. They’re inevitably managed by Alan McGee, who said of them - and honestly this is 100% true - “They’re wilder than Oasis. They are hooligans with a heart of gold and give a lot to food banks."

Just how are so they wild? The Mirror reported with an apparently straight face that one member was arrested for throwing an egg at 10 Downing Street and also once trashed a hotel room while listening to the Sex Pistols. Phew, someone call the cops, these boys are DANGEROUS.

They are so bad, so derivative and so laughable that on first listen, you can’t help but think “this must be a joke, right?”.

But it’s not a joke. This is the dismal reality of Oasis’ terrible, awful, apocalyptic legacy. Not content with being inescapable two decades after they ceased to be relevant, they're also solely responsible for giving us landfill indie.

Cheers lads.