Jessie J ft. David Guetta - Laserlight: Music Video Review
Single number 7 from Jessie J’s album Who You Are and it’s naturally a David Guetta collaboration.
Single number 7 from Jessie Js album Who You Are (Platinum Edition naturally because she dont care about the price tag or the bah-bling bah-bling our Jess) and its naturally a David Guetta collaboration. Oh great, you may be thinking, I have to watch him fumble about some decks looking gormless flanked by a couple of bikini-clad girls who wouldnt look at him twice normally for ANOTHER four minutes of my life. Well youd be wrong; there is no David Guetta in this video. I repeat there is NO DAVID GUETTA in this video. Cue the rejoicing masses and harps of the almighty (oh sorry, no - Florence Welch has them on loan). Plus this video could be a show-stopper as far as the lyrics are concerned: Youre like a Laserlight burning down, burning down on me yodels Jessie about her lover so fingers crossed we'll get a crazy jumpsuit fashion version of that scene in Goldfinger where James Bonds about to be Laserlight-ed in half. Jessie could escape by warbling up all the way up the vocal scale (to that pitch only dogs and whales can hear) before performing a gyration based dance routine with Odd-Job and black-suited ninja henchmen Ok, just me then. So what will we be watching? Well, after a brief stint under Ray Kays mantle (which is basically lots of colourful outfits in front of lots of colourful backgrounds) for Domino, Emil Nava is back in the directors chair for this one and it appears he may have had his budget raised. Look, a CGI street that probably New York or Chicago or somewhere really posh! Look, a shiny car with that angel thing on the front which means its definitely posh! Look, theres Jessie J sitting. Hmm, maybe the budget hasnt been stretched that far then. Also David Guetta appears to have run away with her fringe, the crafty bugger, and in an attempt to stop anymore of his tomfoolery Jessie has studded herself up to the nines. Good work agent J, youll make MI5 in no time. Shes now sat in the angel-fronted posh car this is all strange hand gestures and meaningful glances but then again this is a more mellow song for Jessie she cant feel sexy and free-eeeeee all the time can she? Maybe all that time sat in the big cocoon chairs on The Voice has left her actually incapable of walking more than a few steps without pressing a big red buzzer with her face. The most Im seeing here is a few air clutches and heart-beat chest movements. Oh and some bored audience members who werent allowed out of the BBC studios at closing time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syxd2n8S4AE Chorus alert and we have lights. Actual laser-esque lights and everything. I say esque because theyre not the zappy red ones that Bond villains use, they are blue and shimmery and completely harmless (unless those facial movements are from pain rather than feeling-the-musique). In fact, we seem to have found the three default scenarios in this video in the space of a minute and twenty: Jessie J sits. Jessie J stands near lights. Jessie J wears studs and does a few body pops and/or bounces. Rinse and repeat. Theres a little rave going on towards the end which doesnt really feel like one largely because Jessie is just bouncing on her lonesome, wearing sunglasses to avoid Laserlight blindness or maybe as protection from David Guettas now fully-fringed face Im not really sure. The only thing I can be sure of is that when Jessie J is in her dressing room she sings to herself in the mirror (practising her St-St-St-St-Stutter) and drinks VITAMIN WATER (P-P-P-P-Product placement in case you didnt see that lingering close-up shot). Sadly theres no endless shower of glitter rain in the corner or domino sets to be taken down but then again shes not feeling sexy and free-eeeeee right now. Sit for now, have fun later. On a serious note, the song itself is actually quite euphoric (definitely a grower) and she does look tres glamorous (a pleasant change for her) plus all that Sega Mega Drive beeping going on, suggesting that this was recorded in the local arcade, is a new spin for Guetta i.e. doesn't sound like Sexy Chick. Its a shame then that the video isnt hardly dripping with the same level of energy. Jessie J hasnt been so static since the Who You Are video and she literally just sat in a chair being pelted with rain for that largely due to the broken foot. Well dear, your foot ain't broken now, go on, you can dance if you want to... No doubt this will be another top 10 for Jessie so it matters not how much action is going on in this video but Ill still be waiting for the dancing ninja henchmen next time around.