You're not crying. These are the best years of your life. This is the best choice you've ever made. You feel strong and fit and thin. You're never hungry, no, not ever, not even after exercising or at the end of a long week at work or when your period is due. Eating all this protein definitely doesn't make it feel as though you're simultaneously starving and filled with rocks. You're not crying. This has been such a wonderful adventure that you might start giving up other stuff, like caffeine. Your body is a temple. Everyone should worship it. You're not crying. You don't feel dizzy every time you stand up. You're not crying. You don't wake up sad and you don't go to bed sad. You don't get drunk too quickly to enjoy it. Your relationship isn't struggling due to your pickiness and mood swings. You aren't kept awake wondering if you're wasting your youth by obsessing over every single thing you put in your mouth. You're not crying. You're not crying. You're not crying. OK fine you're crying but these are righteous, happy tears. You don't miss carbs. You're doing great.
Brydie is an Australian writer and performer living in London and she complains exactly the same amount about the weather as every other Australian living in London. Yes, that is her natural lip colour, no, she will not be taking any further questions at this time.
