10 Lies You Will Tell Yourself When You Quit Carbs

7. Swede and Potatoes Are Interchangeable

Get a swede. Peel it. Try to chop it. Try to chop it again. Get a bigger knife because it is so incredibly hard to chop. Accidentally cut yourself in the same place you cut yourself putting together the food processor (when they said you'd lose weight on this diet, they didn't say it'd be from your fingers, HA HA HA). Work away at it for 20 minutes until it is halved. Consider quartering it but take a nap instead. When you wake up, look at the swede. It looks so much like a potato now, doesn't it? And not just because you've forgotten what potatoes really look like, probably. Swedes can be baked and fried and mashed and turned into chips. Everything potatoes can do, they can do better! You'll never be able to tell the difference! You think it's crazy that you ever even bothered with potatoes and you're now convinced Irish people are stupid. If you did a blind taste test, you'd definitely choose swede over potato. Unfortunately you can't test that theory because you'll never eat potatoes again but you're sure you're right.