3. That Time Your Boyfriend Tried To Peel Them Off You In A Sexy Way And Failed Hard
The mood is set: you've had a delicious candle light dinner, you've ended up in the bedroom before finishing desert, and now you're lying on the bed in your new underwear and those sexy tights you bought from Dorothy Perkins with the naughty seam that runs up the back. And your boyfriend's trying to take them off while still kissing you but his arm isn't the length of an orang-utan's and now you've got a problem. He moves down the bed, unsure of how to proceed. Should he try and use his teeth and pull them off you in a sexy way? Should he just stand at the foot of the bed and put your feet over his shoulders and rip them off of you with both hands? Should he use one hand to keep caressing you while he uses the other to try and one-handedly slide one leg out, then the other? Forget it. You stand up, rip them down in an angry frenzy, and throw them into a corner. The mood is ruined. Stupid tights.
I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).
