3. Ringing Cell Phone
Like keys. phones are prone to getting lost from time to time, but at least when they do we can give them a call to help us track them down. This tactic is particularly useful if you "accidentally" insert it into your rectum and forget you did it. It's unlikely that this is how the unfortunate lawyer who suffered from this problem phrased it in the emergency ward, but doctors were in no way mistaken as to where they could find the foreign object - the man's cell phone rang three times during the removal procedure. Presumably he got a crappy reception for some time after.