5. Vibrator ... And Salad Tongs
The first item on this entry is perhaps the only object on the entire list which has any reasonable justification for being anywhere near the vicinity of a person's rectum. The same can't be said for the second item, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out where they came into play. The fact that this poor unfortunate kinky soul managed to lose not one but two objects up their rectum before walking awkwardly to the hospital no doubt made them the highlight of the day for the staff in the A&E department.