6. The Next Chorlton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTzzuJrEDWo Levenshulme? Monton? Stretford? Whalley Range? If we absolutely have to have a next Chorlton can we just pick one and stick with it? Pretty much everywhere in Manchester, apart from actual Chorlton, has been labelled with the unhelpful tag of "the next Chorlton." All it takes is for one person to open something even vaguely approaching a decent deli and the local estate agents are all over it like organic humus on a gluten free focaccia. Not that it means anything any way, other than confirming that estate agents - the people behind these sinister re-branding exercises - are the worst people in the world. And who says these places want to be the next Chorlton any way? Levenshulme is half full of people who just moved out of Chorlton but won't admit it, Monton is in Salford and seems pretty happy doing its own thing, Stretford is disqualified because it's got a massive Tesco and Whalley Range was recently acquired by Chorlton Holdings PLC in a hostile takeover. If Levenshulme is the next Chorlton, where is the next Levenshulme?
Sean O'Meara
Contributor
Freelance writer, contributing to The Huffington Post and a variety of blogs. Banned from Crufts, inventor of the Gareth Bale salary outrage calculator and one-time consumer affairs advocate. Resident of Manchester, UK.
See more from
Sean