20 Problems Only New Parents Will Understand

9. 50 Shades Of Poo

Life As We Know It
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Oh God, I hope that was just a fart.

You can't mentally prepare yourself enough for the wide variety of poo that comes from your beautiful new bundle of joy.

It's best not to go into details, but let's agree that a little Poo Fairy sneaks into your house every hour, on the hour (and sometimes twice in ten minutes), because there's no way something so small and pretty could produce so much of something that smells like that. 

 
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KJ Lewis is 35 years old, was able to rear three small children into three slightly bigger children and has a relatively untested and unfounded passion for writing. You can find him at Twitter: @onefistintheair or Facebook: KJ Lewis