Aren't basic table manners something that all parents teach their children at a young age? That's really nice, man, that you're enjoying your food, but it would be wonderful if we didn't have to watch in quite so much detail. There's nothing that drives us to the edge of insanity like sitting opposite an open-mouth chewer, and that smack, smack, smack of their mouths as they audibly savour their sandwich. It's a horrifying violation of basic etiquette. We've helpfully devised a subtle way of dealing with these champers by simply asking: "Do you think there's ever been research done on the amount of oxygen that reaches the tastebuds, and subsequently, how it affects the taste?" Elaborate, perhaps. You could just say shut up. Like everything; there is even a Wikihow article on how to chew with your mouth closed. If you're an offender, I implore you to read it, for the good of mankind.
1. Facebook
Let's face it, we're zombies to the Zuckerberg machine. We've reached a terrifying point in social media where people can't go about ordinary tasks without letting the world know. The big F is the worst procrastinating device; one click on your home page and you're sucked into a vortex of pure distraction. Facebook is the number 1 cause for relationship troubles, according to US lawyers, and they now take to couple's Facebook pages as a matter of course before they begin with proceedings. There's plenty of us who've browsed through a partner's Facebook page, internally hating that one person who 'likes' all their profile pics. It's unnatural, and can lead to relationship-damaging, FB-induced jealousy. Research has shown that people who are heavy users of the social network "experience Facebookrelated conflict with their romantic partners, which then may cause negative relationship outcomes including emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce." On the opposite end of the relationship scale, though, we have those cringeworthy couples who just can't resist declaring their undying love for each other via the medium of Facebook. You know the type. The 'look-at-us' twosome who post cutesy messages to each others walls, when they're probably in the same room. Or the ones who tag themselves in 'The Place Where Magic Happens ;) with @mybaby' - these people should be made to walk around with their Google search history on a T-shirt. No one wants to read it and frankly, it's a bit creepy that they want them to. Got any other peeves about that world that rub you up the wrong way? Feel free to share 'em below!
