London is arguably the greatest city in the world. Hell, it almost definitely is. If London's goal had been to successfully merge an infinite amount of iconic sights, buildings and attractions into one place, bravo! Is there anywhere else in the world so densely packed with cultural awesomeness and brilliantly-realised atmosphere as Lahndahn Town? Don't answer that: it's a rhetorical question and the correct response is a very surefooted "no." But that doesn't mean that all of London's attractions are great. For every Big Ben, there's a weird and unnecessarily obnoxious artefact masquerading as an element of "sight-seeing" that defies all logic, causing both locals and tourists alike to simultaneously throw their hands in the air and cry: "What the f*ck is up with that?" We're not saying Buckingham Palace is amazing, but it's mind-blowing compared to some attractions. Join us, then, as we take a candid look at those London-based tourist attractions that need to find themselves demolished as soon as possible for fear that aliens will land in Piccadilly Circus one day and judge us based on their very existence. These are the attractions that don't make any sense on a "tourist-viewing" level, or are so preposterous in their conceits that we're not sure why they're functioning. Don't fret, though: it's just a bit of fun!
Sam Hill is an ardent cinephile and has been writing about film professionally since 2008. He harbours a particular fondness for western and sci-fi movies.
