Poor intercourse. It had so much promise, as a word. It arrived with some many wonderful meanings in its arsenal- an exchange of words, a transfer of feelings between two people, international communication at the highest level. It wanted to be a word with a higher purpose, a word of ideas and negotiation, diplomacy and discussion. It wanted a seat at the UN, damn it. But one by one, all those meanings and uses of the word fell out of use until only one remained: doin' it, sex-wise. Though sexual intercourse is just one of the many types of intercourse, it's become the only thing we can think about when we hear the word. Maybe we're juvenile (we're definitely juvenile) but if, for example, your boss says in a meeting "That's it for the day, good intercourse everyone" and you are able to keep yourself from laughing then you deserve a medal. And it's not even a good work for sex. It's the word your health teacher uses while refusing to make eye contact with your or your classmates and everyone in the room prays for death through the entire experience. It's never used in an erotic context (unless that context is "playing out a fantasy involving your health teacher").
Brydie is an Australian writer and performer living in London and she complains exactly the same amount about the weather as every other Australian living in London. Yes, that is her natural lip colour, no, she will not be taking any further questions at this time.
