WhatCulture’s Adam & Adam Vs Red Dog’s Viper Challenge

If you have a friend who often boasts €˜I love spicy food; I can eat anything€™ (or something to that effect) then take them to Red Dog Saloon to set them straight! Last Thursday I went with Adam James (our other food commentator who waxed lyrical about The Camden Blues Bar last November) to take on a challenge that since December has been separating the men from the boys - and women from girls; faming and shaming all those who undertake it with Polaroid snaps displayed forever behind their bar on the wall of fame/shame. The challenge: consume 6 chicken wings in 10 minutes then last for 5 minutes after consuming the final bite without any liquids or solids. Sound simple? Well bear in mind that each wing is smothered in a sauce made from Fresh Naga Viper chillies: a chilli 2,500 times stronger than a Jalapeno. I love spicy foods. I€™m the guy who orders the hottest peri peri chicken sauce at Nandos; I€™ve eaten Sports Caf這s suicide wings and lived to tell of my delight and I can go through a vindaloo with ease and actually enjoy it. The only bad spicy food-related mishap I have experienced was when I ordered a phall at an Indian restaurant and €“ as you do €“ after a pint too man, boasted to the waiter that I like it hot. 'Hot I got!' And what followed was not pretty. But refusing to be put off by this one bad €“ albeit traumatic experience €“ I went to Red Dog Saloon with Adam J and a party of twenty friends, well-wishers and people out to get a good laugh from our spicy demise €“ to take on the Viper. With the order made, our waitress bids us €˜good luck€™ then presents us with two pairs of latex gloves and contracts to sign, which outline all health issues and remove all legal obligations from Red Dog Saloon and brand us as €˜damned fools€™.

With contracts signed and gloves on, the wings are brought out to an ovation. Placed in front of us they are six little pieces of Hell. Burning red in colour, the texture is like pieces of molten lava and the smell€ it hits you like a ton of bricks! It€™s so unbelievably potent and makes your eyes water like the smelling salts your Granny used to force on you when you had the flu. But this is a different breed of smell. It€™s so strong it causes a member of our party to leave the premises. Mustard gas, napalm - step aside. The timer starts from the moment we take our first bite. The tactic is speed; we want to get the six wings down as quick as possible and then deal with the five-dry-minute gestation period. I quickly set about stripping the wing in a series of vicious bites. One wing down, but it€™s left a mark. My lips tingle, which is quickly followed by a harsh zinging sensation. My nose is running and my eyes are watering and I€™m sweating like a hog in the height of summer. Suddenly I hear a cacophony of disappointed groans; I look to my side and see Adam downing the milk like there€™s no tomorrow. And by the look of his swelling, burgundy cheeks and bursting pupils, I worry that there may not be one for my namesake. Adam James, conquered by just one Viper Wing. You have my respect, sir. At this point I know that it is down to me to complete the challenge. Whether it is the competitive male streak in me, or some latent masochistic tendency, I chomp into the second wing and strip the bone. The crowd erupts into cheers €“ at this moment, I AM GOD! But with each chew feeling like a thousand little imps stabbing sharp needles into my cheeks and the remaining four wings taunting me like invincible demons I know that I am beaten. Seeing the futility in completing the second wing I discretely regurgitate it into the napkin and down the milk in one Heavenly gulp! But poor Adam J€™s and my ordeals are far from over. I have never had the displeasure of imbibing sulphuric acid, but I can only imagine the sensation is something akin to this. Splashing water over your face just intensifies the burn. Maybe vinegar would help? Or mouth wash? Not even Red Dog€™s trademark Cold Fusion Milkshake €“ a delicious blend of ginger, lemon, pineapple and vanilla €“ can numb the burn. The only cure is time. However, while the zinging sensation in your lips passes after about thirty minutes, the swelling and burning of your head fades after an hour and your pupils go back to normal size turning you back into a normal human being after two, don€™t be deceived into thinking this ordeal is over; the worst is still to come€ While I will refrain from sharing the graphic details I will just say this€ I was awoken at 2AM with a debilitating pain in my stomach and feared that an Alien creature from the planet Naga with sulphuric, chili sauce for blood, was going to explode out of my chest. This did not come to pass, but the result was just as gory. Originally it was our intention to take on the challenge before sitting down to dinner; in hindsight, I am very happy I took it on afterwards. Last November I declared Red Dog€™s pork ribs the best in London; so upon my return I could not resist ordering more of them and was equally as satisfied by the succulent pork that fell off the bone and the ever so slightly crisp outer skin. But Red Dog have added some new additions to their ever-growing menu. The Carnivore Platter consists of a selection of all their smoked meats. The much ballyhooed pork ribs are joined by a hearty helping of tender pulled pork, four slices of a fat, spicy sausage, two tender thighs of BBQ chicken and their latest addition €“ the beef rib. At £17.50 per person it is a tad on the steep side, but when the meat is this good you can stomach the price. And it includes a side, which at Red Dog the choice is simple €“ Onion Rings. I€™m not a huge fan of the onion ring usually. The batter is almost always soggy and flavourless; when you bite into one you take the whole onion in the first mouthful leaving a second mouthful of batter. At Red Dog, this is not the case. They use breadcrumbs instead of batter. They€™re served golden and they€™re crunchy and remain that way for 30 minutes. And more importantly the onion itself is crispy, meaning you don€™t take the whole thing in one mouthful. Best onion rings around? I€™m happy to be proven wrong...

Anyone who followed our Top Ten American Restaurants in London poll we held last year will know I am a massive fan of Bodean€™s, and believe they are THE smoke house of London. Is Red Dog becoming competition for Bodean€™s? They certainly are; but need to find a way of lowering the price by a few pounds and more importantly, add their own version of the €˜burnt ends€™ €“ Bodean€™s trademark slow-cooked beef brisket €“ to their menu. So, what are my conclusions from visit number two to Red Dog? DO €“ Order the Carnivore Platter with a side of their Onion Rings. DON€™T €“ Take on the Viper Challenge. UNLESS €“ you have asbestos lined, lips, tongue, gums and stomach. Or you€™re a masochist. If you know of any other extreme food challenges then please don€™t hesitate to let us know.