8. Geremi
From: Chelsea Fee: Free Has there ever been a player that has done so much for so little? A free transfer from Chelsea in 2006, Geremi was given the role of 'do everything': Free-kicks, corners, throw-ins, penalties, kit-washer, pie-seller... You name it, Sam Allardyce had him doing everything. Newcastle have certainly signed worse players than the former European footballer of the year nominee, but not one has been given such an active role, and what was most surprising was how inept he was at doing these things. He was ostensibly a Premier League and Champions League winner who could barely move. Allardyce believed that you should never ask a player to do more than they are capable of, and you develop a system tailored to the players at your disposal, and he then signed, Cacapa, Alan Smith, Viduka and Geremi. Exactly what kind of system was he trying to develop for these players, and why make Geremi the figurehead? Sometimes I look back in Newcastle's history and wonder if managers have a secret club at which they meet the first Monday of the month, thinking about ways to ruin the club; laughing and joking as they brag about the ridiculous decisions they've all made. Everyone's in on it though, TV included, otherwise why does no-one mention how bad those decisions have been. Whether Geremi was in on the joke however remains to be seen, as he played like he was a rickety old sea captain with one final voyage left in him. Honest, but ultimately probably 74 years old.