9. Carving Your Face Into The Moon - Cobra Commander (G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero)
From 1983 to 1986, good, honest, red-blooded American children were entertained by G.I. Joe, an cartoon series based on the toy line of the same name.
The main enemy of the organisation is Cobra, a terrorist organisation that stands against everything America loves! So, cheeseburgers, guns, and electing morons, then?
Cobra is led by the brilliantly-titled Cobra Commander, a person who takes the whole snake gimmick so seriously he talks like an actual cobra would. Elongated S sounds and everything.
As you might expect, Cobra Commander isn't all there. This is demonstrated perfectly when he hijacks a powerful laser beam with the sole purpose of rendering his own likeness into the side of the moon.
We have several questions.
What was the end goal of this activity? Why didn't Cobra Commander use the laser for something else? Why didn't anyone at Cobra HQ step up to their commander and tell him that this was an absolutely bonkers idea?
In the end, the Joes repair the damage to Earth's satellite and restore it back to normal.
They were probably annoyed that the Commander had wasted their time more than anything else.