10 Reasons Everyone In Star Trek Is An Idiot

7. €œYou€™d Better Get Up Here€€

Whether they€™re referencing Wrath of Khan deliberately or not, this exchange seems to be the Trek writers€™ favourite way to end a scene and move the plot along. Someone, usually the Captain, gets paged by a subordinate and told €œYou€™d better get up here, there€™s something I think you should see.€ Normally this is more than good enough for the Captain to drop whatever he or she was doing, bellow €œI€™m on my way!€ and go gallivanting halfway across the ship. In the unlikely event they ask for more information, they get told €œThis€ is something you€™ll want to see for yourself.€ No self-respecting Commander should put up with this sort of thing. Starships are huge, often over a thousand metres long, and the turbolifts are probably blocked because people keep pausing them to hold those obnoxious private conversations. If you want me to surrender my precious holodeck time, find my trousers and slog all the way to the bridge, you can at least do me the courtesy of telling me why I€™m making the trip. And let€™s be honest, I don€™t actually need to come up anyway. You€™re just going to show me a graph or some sensor scans, which you could easily have fed down to my quarters €“ Federation systems are meant to be completely modular so that you can, in theory, fly the ship from Ten Forward if you€™re feeling thirsty. Dragging me along to your particular workstation makes you the 24th century version of that guy in the office who forces everyone to cluster around and watch a Youtube video on his tiny monitor rather than just e-mailing the link out like a normal person €“ except, unlike in an office environment, I can eject you into space if you try it.
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Chris has over a decade's experience as a game designer and writer in the video game industry. He's currently battling Unity in a fight to the death.