9 Nerdy TV Events That Have Vanished Off Our Screens

3. Public Information Films

Public Information Films, or PIFs as they are known to fans, are short films produced by the government's Central Office of Information (now doesn't that sound positively Orwellian?). They generally tell the viewer how to behave in a decent manner - don't go near water unaccompanied, don't fling Frisbees into electric power stations, don't talk to strangers, don't pollute the countryside, don't panic if there is a nuclear war. They were free to all TV stations and they became a mainstay of television in the 60s, 70s and 80s as fillers between programmes. So we had quite a nanny state that - while worthy - terrified the crap out of kids. Most of them were poorly produced which gave them the look and feel of a horror film. PIFs have a large cult following today and a DVD entitled Charley Says was released in 2001 showcasing all the best PIFs. There was a sequel in 2005. Some of the most infamous PIFs include: Charley Says: A series of animated PIFs with a mewling cat (voiced by Kenny Everett) warning children of some of the dangers they may face. Apaches: A very graphic PIF which was shown to primary school children to warn them about fooling around in farms. Protect and Survive: Horrifying series of PIFs voiced by Patrick 'Voice of Doom' Allen telling the public how to prepare for a nuclear assault on Britain. The PIFs would have been played continuously in the run up to a nuclear war. Thankfully never broadcasted on TV or the British public would have collectively s**t themselves. Lonely Water: A PIF about the dangers of playing near water which featured a terrifying voice over by Donald Pleasance and a black hooded death like figure with no face. Totally traumatised a generation of British kids. Joe and Petunia: An alarmingly stupid man and wife whose careless actions cause havoc around them. Tomfoolery with worn tires, country code capers and beach hijinks were the flavour of the day. They got killed off in Worn Tires because thy became too popular!