Supernatural 9.3, "I'm No Angel" Recap And Review

It's A Mortal Life St. Anne's Shelter For Men. Morning. Castiel is in the bathroom, clearly still working out the finer points of human hygiene. He looks at his reflection in the mirror, all swollen and grizzled. "Boy, I sure am glad that I met the Winchesters," he thinks to himself. Later that morning, our favorite little former angel is working the litter stick at St. Anne's Cathedral when he finds a trail of blood, which he follows until he finds the two dead priests. He immediately knows that they were killed by angels, due to the burned out eyes. Also, the Shrill Chords Of Doom that always play in any scene involving angel evil. That night, Castiel eats something straight out of a can in the homeless camp before going to sleep in an abandoned bus, but he is soon awoken by the Shrill Chords Of Doom. He opens his eyes to find the pharmacist angel, who stabs Castiel in the arm. For some reason, the angel is so surprised that Castiel is human that he pauses long enough for the bloodied Cas to get stabby with his own angel blade. The next morning, Castiel finds himself in the Chinatown district of what may or may not be Detroit. He has a handful of crumpled bills and--though he stares longingly at the admittedly delicious-looking hot dogs being grilled by a street vendor--goes to a tattoo parlor, where he shows a tattoo artist a very specific design. I marvel at what must be a very expensive hot dog that Cas couldn't have both. We get a tummy shot of Castiel, who just looks miserable. Still hungry but now warded against angels, Cas ogles a well-endowed woman before laying eyes on a church. He enters and finds a woman who is praying for her husband's health. Since this is television, she is having her heart-to-heart with the crucifix out loud. Castiel--who was socially awkward even before he lost his Grace--starts a conversation with her about the futility of faith. "You appear to be homeless," she says, "so would you like to come back to my place? My husband's in the hospital, so we won't be interrupted." Not really. But that seems to be how things roll in this part of town. Cas goes down an alley to root through the dumpsters, hoping to find something edible. A young woman sees him, and he quickly jumps back and assures her that he is not stealing. I want to give him a hug. This woman--April--gives him a peanut butter & jelly sandwich before going in to work, and I don't totally distrust her at this point. She's just a nice woman who carries a sandwich in her purse, right? Who am I to judge? Maybe everybody does except for me. Nighttime. Cas hasn't left the alley. April comes outside sees him sitting in the rain. Taking the natural next step, she brings Castiel into her home where she lives alone and shuts the door behind him...and this is the point where I really began to hope that she was evil, just on behalf of womankind. I don't care if he looks like Misha Collins. Unless you're evil, you just don't do that. Castiel does not share my misgivings, and he tells her that her home is beautiful. "Thanks!" says April. "Make yourself at home. Just please don't open my refrigerator. It's filled with human heads and pitchers of blood. Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" That's what I heard, anyway. According to closed captioning, what she said was more along the lines of "I don't usually bring home strange men." Instead of asking her if that meant that she only murders men that she knows, Cas takes off his jacket. April notices that his shirt is soaked in blood and removes it for him. Okay, I know that she's a Reaper and that he's not an axe murderer, but still: Warning signs, April. Warning signs. April kisses him. They kiss each other. The scene fades out. Later, Cas and April are under the covers and in bed together, having given in to their apparent passion. The passion was not so overwhelming, however, that they couldn't artistically arrange and light dozens of candles first. Nothing is more romantic than a fire-hazardous tryst with a bleeding homeless guy, right? They discuss one another's technique. April prods him into confessing his secrets. There's cuddling and kissing and innuendo, but I'm so physically uncomfortable with the scene that I couldn't replay without looking away. The next morning. April is apparently an early bird, having gotten up, dressed, done laundry, and stolen his angel blade before he even woke up. When sleepyhead Cas finally comes out of the bedroom, she pulls the blade on him and ties him to a chair to torture him. See, Cas, this is what happens when you go home with a stranger and don't tell a friend. As it turns out, she is a Reaper sent by the angels, and she asks him about his cooperation with Metatron. When she doesn't like his answers, she stabs him in the stomach. Things aren't look too good for Castiel. Then...