Surfer Sting's theme didn't require lyrics, really. As a hollering, high-energy babyface sensation, a simple, accelerating rock track - one that mirrored his infectious aura - would have sufficed.
But WCW did hire some guy to write lyrics. LOLWCW hired some guy to write ridiculously bad lyrics.
'The Man Called Sting / The Man Called Sting / He's a man called Sting / The Man Called Sting'
Say what you see, f*cking hell. There's something so bluntly, hilariously normalising about 'He's a man called Sting', too. He is simply a man. Not much to cheer for. Move on.
'He does this / He does that'.
Sting is just an ordinary man, doing ordinary things, not a performer worth paying to watch. He does this, he does that. He does the dishes, he takes the bins out. He is a man called Steve.
'And all the kids, they all go wild / 'And all the old people start to act like a child'
This is a riot. The lyric is imagined as a means of putting over Sting's appeal, as a wrestler capable of channeling the innocence and wonder of his public, but in translation, it just buries the audience as a bunch of sad acts.