10 Most Unnatural Dustin Rhodes Moments

The often-controversial D-Generation X were not the most shocking act at the In Your House PPV named in their honour. Pulled out in front of the live crowd by a leash, TAFKA Goldust let his manager/handler Luna Vachon screech the fans into silence so Goldust could “express himself in verse”.

A poetry reading has an unnerving ability to descend into awkwardness and second-hand embarrassment almost too painful to handle. This reading was also delivered by Goldust, decked out in a pink bodysuit with sparkly silver crotch detail, a matching Party City wig, and a mass-produced masquerade mask.

Though Goldust claimed the poem was “a little ditty that [he] wrote when [he] was a child”, not even a stanza into his performance it was obvious Goldust had plagiarised Dr. Seuss’ famous Green Eggs and Ham, word for word. However, it is unlikely that any of Seuss’ reading were accompanied by the seductive licking of a microphone head. Goldust took Seuss’ source material to a more outlandish place than even Jim Carrey.

Luna piled on the humiliation with a shove that sent ‘The Bizarre One’ stumbling backwards mid-verse. She hauled him up by his lead, pulling him back to the locker room, and stealing his ‘take a bow’ moment.