Despite the unusual number of multi-man factions in WWE at present, the tag team division doesnt really exist. The tag team champions are The New Day, a three-man heel stable operating under the Freebird Rule. The only genuine tag teams on the active main roster are the Ascension and Los Matadores (lower card jobbers), the Usos and the Dudleyz. That presents us with a problem when pulling together a tag team championship match for Wrestlemania 32s pre-show. Last year saw a fatal four-way for the title involving the New Day, Los Matadores, Cesaro & Kidd and the Usos. This year it would seem that the running is nearly identical: only the Usos and the recently returned Dudley Boyz are in position to challenge for the titles, and weve already seen every possible version of those matches in the last year or so. Since the participants are more familiar than a black cat on a broomstick, well need a gimmick. TLC wasnt long ago, and tables and ladders have been overused lately lets make it a tag team elimination match, with any one wrestler able to tag any other wrestler in. No one really minds who goes over, but it should probably not be the Dudleyz. Adding the third annual Andre The Giant Battle Royal to the pre-show only makes sense. Since its been established that this match only exists to give the lower card a spot on the lower card, and that the winner will be irrelevant about ten minutes later, its exactly the kind of meaningless accolade that can and should be won by Sheamus. Hes in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sequel, hitting theatres two months after Wrestlemania, so the win keeps him in a prominent place on the card for publicity purposes, even if theyre not doing much with him otherwise. Finally, I think the pre-show should also incorporate a feud between main roster Divas who arent currently in the title hunt. Lets see Paige and Becky Lynch tearing it up in a ten-minute, stiff riot of a match between battle-scarred veterans.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
