10 Radical Ideas To Save Zack Ryder

7. Head Over Heels

Zack Ryder.jpg
WWE.com

It's reductive, sure, and for anyone else except Cena it's not a radical move - but it's been a long while since Zack Ryder was anything other than a merch-whoring white meat babyface. Now he has no merchandise, so theoretically he has nothing to lose.

To begin with, the turn should be a minor thing: the backstage assaults on the Miz, the adoption of a particularly aggressive couple of finishing moves, a less tweenage theme song… then we can have a couple of generic angry promos, those ones that say, “dancing around and smiling did nothing for me, so now I wish to give the whole world a brainbuster right onto the metaphorical steel steps of life, oh yes I do”.

Nothing flashy just yet, because we’re building to something a little bit odd.

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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.