10 Radical Ideas To Save Zack Ryder

6. Partner Him With His Partner

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As all true blue wrestling geeks know by now, Matthew ‘Zack Ryder’ Cardona is going steady with Tenille ‘Emma’ Dashwood, and has been for a number of months. The two are so tight that they’re attending official WWE functions together and using possessive pronouns on Instagram and everything.

Right now, Emma’s undergoing something of a career renaissance as a vicious heel in the reborn Women’s Division, which is absolutely as it should be. It was her performances in developmental with Paige that kickstarted the additional interest in women’s wrestling in NXT, and ended up changing the face of women’s wrestling on the WWE main roster.

Once Ryder’s turned heel, even subtly, the two should partner up on television as well, accompanying one another to the ring.

As an on-screen character, Zack's always been a bit of a sad sack, and despite his party-boy image has never had any real luck with the ladies. Showing him in a mature relationship with a smoking hot, incredibly dangerous submission specialist would go a long way towards remedying some of that, which helps when taking the character seriously.

Plus, the pair of them look good together suited and booted for a night out: imagine how good they’d look beating seven shades of sparkling sh*te out of some rube and then laughing about it all the way up the ramp.

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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.