10 Reasons Why People Who Hate WWE Hate WWE
8. The Product Is Contrived
This week's SmackDown saw The New Day and The Usos call a truce and draw a line under their brilliant feud. It was a good, authentic segment. It felt well-earned. And then, WWE dusted off the formula.
The Hype Bros interrupted and complained that the same two teams steal the credit every week. The same Hype Bros who decisively lost a match at Hell In A Cell. Not that that mattered; Commissioner or General Manager Daniel Bryan - really, it makes no difference, his talent occupies both roles by conveniently arguing in the ring - booked them in a Fatal 4-Way match to determine the new number one contenders to the SmackDown Tag Team titles. The idea of "number one contenders" is meaningless, incidentally; there is no formal ranking system. There isn't even a head canon version of it. In most divisions, there is a champion, their rival, and a bunch of acts beneath them with indiscriminate win/loss records.
The Ascension and Breezango were also permitted entry into the match. The last guy who goofed off backstage in real life - Jimmy Jacobs - didn't get rewarded. He was fired. This trash strategy has become so enduring that it's the norm. It shouldn't be. It unravels the whole enterprise as a farce. We're meant to believe in wrestling. Even if that is a quaint insight, it's not as if the formula is entertaining. It's a schoolyard squabble written by hacks. And, when the performers forget those lines, the results are cringe-inducing. People felt pity for Bobby Roode when he accidentally skipped the script on Tuesday. Bobby Roode. He's meant to be glorious.
It's just wrestling, is the counterargument. It's just entertainment. Watch the matches. Stephanie McMahon is fond of comparing WWE to a great novel or a classic motion picture. It's honestly laughable.
Thank Christ for the performers.