10 Ups & 7 Downs For Daniel Bryan’s WWE Career

4. Stupid Sexy Daniel Bryan

Devised as a rib, WWE’s portrayal of Daniel Bryan as a ladies’ man in 2011 became both self-own and self-fulfilling prophesy.

The idea, clearly, was to mock this pale dork who could never hope to land one of these gorgeous models from the John Laurinaitis catalogue. Nikki and Brie Bella argued over the affections of Bryan, who for all intents and purposes was Hornswoggle in this love triangle: a strange bedfellow indeed. They weren’t really competing for Bryan’s affections, those manipulative shrews; mistaking the word “vegan” for “virgin”, lol, the twins made a bet to see which could pop his cherry.

But this wasn’t the punchline. No: Bryan—that vegan nerd!—had already, some way, somehow, landed Gail Kim. Bryan was unconcerned about this development. With a disarming charm, the classically handsome Bryan played a laid-back, deeply likeable straight man to contrast the more absurd leanings of Derrick Bateman, yet another performer with whom shared winning chemistry. The joke, ultimately, was on WWE; Bryan and Brie hit it off, and remain a couple to this day.

All the while, Bryan, bemused by it all, was fashioning himself as a complete sports entertainer equipped to handle and star in any daft sh*te WWE tried to throw at him.