...Of course. ...It had to be. There was never going to be anybody else. Wrestling fans love for The Shockmaster, by far wrestlings crappiest gimmick of all time, simply knows no bounds. In an industry that produced legendary clunkers like Phantasio, The Black Scorpion, Eugene, Mordecai, The Gobbledy Gooker and yes, even John Cena, The Shockmaster still stands Disco-Trooper head and fur-covered shoulders above the rest of the pack. By now, you all know the story (and if you dont, please YouTube The Shockmaster Incident because it will give your life new meaning), but what all Shockmaster fans cant, for the life of them, figure out is just what on earth this character was meant to be in the first place. When he was originally introduced to the world (mere seconds before his fabled botched entrance), Sting announced that his teams mystery partner was going to shock the world, because he was none other than The Shockmaster! This implies either one, or both, of the following: That The Shockmaster had some sort of electrical powers/devices that he was going to use to subdue his foes. Or That he was a fan of making surprise announcements at random intervals, something along the lines of I used to be a woman! or my face looks exactly the same upside-down! and thus shocking his foes into submission. Extra points to you if you read the above lines in Ole Andersons cookie monster voice. In either instance, a ratty old pair of XXXL jeans, a fur coat and a cheap stormtrooper helmet sprayed with glitter would hardly mark you out as a shock to anyone besides the old lady working in the charity shop you just robbed. Perhaps the true nature of The Shockmaster is just one of those great mysteries, something we were never meant to know. ...So thats a round up of 10 weird wrestling characters that flat out failed to work. Whether it was Jeff Hardy unleashing his mask-wearing, cross-dressing inner weirdo, or Dustin Rhodes getting caught up in a hilarious Larry David-esque example of being misinterpreted as a pervert, wrestling is a funny old world indeed. The best advice? Enjoy it, because it rules, even (perhaps especially) when its a bit silly.
I am a professional author and lifelong comic books/pro wrestling fan. I also work as a journalist as well as writing comic books (I also draw), screenplays, stage plays, songs and prose fiction.
I don't generally read or reply to comments here on What Culture (too many trolls!), but if you follow my Twitter (@heyquicksilver), I'll talk to you all day long!
If you are interested in reading more of my stuff, you can find it on http://quicksilverstories.weebly.com/ (my personal site, which has other wrestling/comics/pop culture stuff on it).
I also write for FLiCK http://www.flickonline.co.uk/flicktion, which is the best place to read my fiction work.
Oh yeah - I'm about to become a Dad for the first time, so if my stuff seems more sentimental than usual - blame it on that!
Finally, I sincerely appreciate every single read I get. So if you're reading this, thank you, you've made me feel like Shakespeare for a day! (see what I mean?)
Latcho Drom,
- CQ
