10 Worst Uses Of Face Paint In Wrestling

7. The Missing Link

the shark john tenta
WWE.com

Some people might not remember The Missing Link, which is just as well because he was simply unpleasant to look at.

Not unpleasant in a good, heelish way, either… more like “nauseating to lay eyes on.” His crazy tufted hair was bad enough, but at least it fit the character. What didn't fit, however, was his decidedly vomit-coloured makeup, with bright blue around the eyes.

Obviously, someone thought, the missing link in human evolution would logically look like the third Road Warrior with a life-threatening case of gout. 

There was nothing primal or tribal about the design, it was simply generic broad strokes “augmented” with that gawd-awful colour scheme. So really all you were left with was a wild-man with a kisser straight out of a contrarian toddler's colouring book.

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Contributor

CKUT radio host, underground lyricist, Michael Myers scholar and all-around world-class opiner. Signature move: Irony Bomb. Blood type: chai. Never seen in the same place and time as Logic Johnson, former featured columnist for Bleacher Report. Hopelessly unfamiliar with Yellow Submarine.