10 Wrestlers Most Likely To Be Steve Austin's WWE WrestleMania 39 Opponent

1. CM Punk

Steve Austin John Cena
AEW

You know what isn't a dream match?

John Cena Vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi. It's weird that it gets talked up so much as a dream match because dream matches are built on contrasts. All the best conflict is. Also, the idea of Tanahashi bumping and feeding the Five Moves of Doom is almost heartbreaking. Everybody who did it looked like a dumbass, and Tana is one of the most intelligent strategists ever.

Steve Austin Vs. CM Punk is a dream match.

It's such an obvious dream match that everybody fantasy booked it the second they first caught sight of Punk raging against the evils of alcohol. Sanctimonious straight edge pr*ck versus beer-swilling hero of the working classes: that's conflict.

They are drawn to loathe one another on a personal level, but they share a profound mutual respect. This could incite the programme: one man interrupts the other's promo, a monumental pop precedes something even more unreal than that, they tease a show-down, and then put one another over. They'll believe the material too. Then, all smiles, Austin cracks open a tinny. Punk's face sours. The tension builds. He then kicks Austin in the balls, and one of the most exciting, impossible WrestleMania matches ever is automatically set.

You'd have to be the most deranged AEW "freakazoids" to not get hyped over that.

Of course, Punk might not be able to appear, even if he's willing. He's recovering from major surgery, for starters. He's technically still with AEW as far as anybody knows, and this rumour has developed such buzz - albeit naive - that it's the exact sort of thing that will encourage Tony Khan to set a long non-compete clause in any potential contract buy-out.

Probability: 40%

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!