10 Wrestling Matches You Should NEVER EVER Watch
8. Triple H Vs. Scott Steiner - WWE Royal Rumble 2003
It was time for Scott Steiner to play the Game.
That Game was 'In how many minutes can I make a far better albeit past-his-prime wrestler than me look awful, just for the sake of gratifying my ego?'
Triple H completed the Game in 18 minutes and 14 seconds, but it felt longer than Final Fantasy F*cking XII.
Lurid, live action political sabotage has absolutely no goddamn right being as tedious as this. It's like watching four Brock Lesnar Vs. Braun Strowman matches consecutively, only Lesnar is actively trying to make it boring four times in a row. Triple H ages Steiner so badly here, and it goes on for so long, that the match essentially becomes a time lapse version of itself. Stomps, suplexes, stalling, and that's it. That's the match. It makes Baron Corbin's most bang-average TV fare look like the work of Masato Yoshino.
A parody of WWE's methodical, story-driven style, it's potentially, blackly amusing if you go into it equipped with the knowledge that Triple H during this period fancied himself as a modern mid-to-late-'80s Ric Flair. Who doesn't like the honey-sweet taste of lol-f*ck off hubris?
Everybody in the arena, which accounted for the library atmosphere, as several million U.S. fans read from the classic tome 'Let's just stop watching wrestling in large numbers'.