3. Ryback
In at least one sense, Vince McMahon resembles the heroine of a Dolly Parton song: no matter how many times her lover breaks her heart she keeps going back because, deep down, she believes things can go back to how they once were. The artist formerly known as Skip Sheffield might as well be called Throwback, so reminiscent is he of the awkward, stiff muscleheads of the late-80s and early 90s that brought McMahon to the attention of the federal government. Wrestlers with absurd and/or inflated physiques represent a drug that Vince McMahon just cant quit, and his relapses can be traced down from the pre-detox pits of The Barbarian and Warlord to Giant Gonzalez and Brakkus, through Nathan Jones and Chris Masters, direct to The Great Khali and Ryback himself. Once upon a time the audience was prepared to accept muscles and (the occasional) sprinkling of charisma as all the credentials necessary for a headliner but, as the 18-30 male demographics treatment of John Cena will attest, todays educated wrestling fan expects something more. Although McMahon might insist on a uniform, identikit house style in WWE, the modern wrestling aficionado has become increasingly exposed to the smaller, faster, more technically-gifted performer towards which the American independent scene has been moving for more than a decade. Where once mat devotees sick of the WWFs plodding cartoon characters had to trade bootleg tapes of Dynamite Kid and Tiger Mask tearing the house down over in Japan, today any ten year-old with a wireless connection can watch endless hours of wrestling from overseas as well as Puroresu- and Luchadore-influenced action from the American indie circuit. Then theres the short yet stellar list of talented big men that have walked the aisle in WWE over the years, each one a refutation of the idea that exaggerated proportions and actual wrestling ability need necessarily be mutually exclusive qualities. The Undertaker, Batista, Brock Lesnar, Kane, and Sheamus hold the gold standard for talented big men, and all of them put Rybacks top-spot credentials to shame by comparison. Without the character hook of The Undertaker or the verbal skills of Batista, and lacking the hard-man legitimacy of Lesnar or the dynamism of Kane, all Ryback really had going for him was the undefeated streak and the aura of invincibility it was supposed (yet failed) to cultivate. Nevertheless, wrestlers the size and shape of ol Skip typically receive McMahons most stubborn and persistent efforts (which makes you wonder just how egregious must Ezekiel Jacksons offense have been). If crowd reaction to his new angle as resident bully falls as flat as his previous, however, Ryback might soon find himself not merely dropped but replaced in McMahons affections. The problem with offering nothing but muscles: sooner or later someone comes along with muscles and more