10 WWE Things That Are Impossible To Believe In

6. Promos

The Miz And Maryse
WWE.com

Samoa Joe, with his intense, menacing delivery, is really the only top tier promo in WWE right now. The Miz remains good value, cycling though he is through the motions of his incendiary 2016 game.

Largely, the heel verbiage, though indistinct, is halfway credible. Babyfaces are invariably portrayed as witless tossers, with the stark, earnest exception of Daniel Bryan. Seth Rollins cuts good enough promos that garner reactions, but nothing memorable, let alone iconic. Finn Bálor smiles his way through sheer anonymity, which is far preferable to the material handed to AJ Styles earlier this year - "Kami" acting as the latest evidence pointing towards WWE's decade-plus patter crisis. Lame, stilted, obviously rehearsed: even the words that aren't worthy of a Peter Engel production barely carry any weight because the smiling babyface jackasses, who just love to have fun out there, laugh them off. Whatever happened to the terrifying threats of Scott Steiner? Whatever happened to the powder-fuelled bragging of Ric Flair? Whatever happened to my pro wrestling?

We know where it's gone: it's gone to die in a room full of redundant hacks who'd bail at the first crack at a Big Bang Theory gig, only they're nowhere near good enough even for that drivel.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!