12 WrestleMania 32 Worries For Smart Marks

“I said all in, dammit!”

Smart marks. Internet marks. Intelligent dupes. Neck-bearded keyboard warriors. Whatever your chosen term for the studious super fans that drown twitter in their tears every Monday night, they are primed for the showcase of the immortals. Ready with their battle cries of €œI told you so€ and €œwhy do you hate your fans?!€. They're like this most years, of course, but this time is special.

WrestleMania 32 represents a crossroads for the company. Down one road, an extreme change in the company€™s creative direction and all the exciting turmoil that comes with it. Down the other lies a cruel bait-and-switch and another decade of corporate prescriptivism. Guess which one The Smarks are expecting.

As well as death or freedom for long time fans, this €˜Mania is stacked with concerns that only come around this time of year. If you spent your tax rebate last April printing off a thousand Cesaro Section signs to display in your living room, prepare to agree. Agree and despair.

Here are twelve WrestleMania concerns keeping you up at night. If you thought last year had some pretty big worries for you going in just remember€ Everything€™s bigger in Texas.

12. Daylight

Getting sunstroke at the top of a ladder is the absolute last thing that Sami Zayn needs right now. We just got him back from injury and he is so, so fair skinned.

The AT&T stadium has a roof that can be opened and closed but WWE like to give the granddaddy of them all a stadium feel. And nothing achieves this better than open air singing and fighter jets belching out streams of red white and blue in the pristine Texas skies.

What this open air feel also achieves is invisible pyro, highlighted male pattern baldness, a diminished Undertaker entrance and a muted crowd noise (although Vince may want that last one). Some of the wrestling pageantry just does not work in the sunshine and while an open air feeling is cool, there is a large trade off.

WrestleMania 31 had all of these things and while it wasn€™t a factor all of the time, certain things creep forward in your observations when replaying old shows on the network. No smart mark alive could avoid stepping on one of those mines and besides, Hell In A Cell belongs in the dark.


Eddie is a writer, cinephile, TV fan and wrestling abuse victim from Newcastle. After receiving his film degree in London he returned home to lift boxes in the vein of an 80s montage... It's not as fun as it looks in the films.