20 Secret Highlights Of WCW That WWE Won't Tell You About

In WWE, bad commentary is normally overproduced; they have a clear message they're trying to get across, and they'll push that message even if comes off awkward and forced. In WCW, it was the opposite. No one knew what they were trying to say, and everyone was trying to say it at once.

Tony Schiavone was Michael Cole turned up to eleven, and every cheesy overreaction was THE GREATEST OVERREACTION IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT. Eric Bischoff was one of history's worst play-by-play men. The only thing he cared more about than making up technical-sounding names for lazy savate kicks was what Hulk Hogan would think of that savate kick. Dusty Rhodes called every match by insisting, "dey be clubberin'." Mongo was a well-meaning rube, a brain-damaged football hillbilly that loved wrestling while knowing literally nothing about it. 

The only one who wasn't funny was Larry Zbyszko, which is odd, because Larry thought he was hilarious, and would repeat bad jokes for hours on the assumption that they must have gone unheard. On top of this flaming heap of conversational wreckage was Bobby Heenan, too old and overpaid to care how terrible everyone else was. Perhaps the greatest example of this was the match embedded above, in which he spends an entire match laughing to himself because Tony Schiavone called Jim Duggan "smart."