4 Ups & 6 Downs From WWE Raw (24 Mar - Results & Review)

3. Cena Promo Redux

Last week’s column gave John Cena’s explanation promo high marks despite the stilted, Vince-pilled cadence because it touched on several important parts and delivered what appeared to be a clear message going forward about Cena’s character.

Monday, Cena once again opened Raw and once again delivered a slow, stilted promo in which he spoke down to the fans… and spoke… and spoke… and spoke. He managed to turn what sounded like it was going to be another red-hot international crowd chanting “F*** you, Cena!” into a borderline apathetic group until Cody Rhodes came out.

Cena rambled for a good 12 minutes before finally getting his point across: he’s going to do what CM Punk threatened to do 14 years ago and win the world title and then leave with it, retiring as champion and forcing WWE to create a new, meaningless lineage. He arrived at that conclusion 20 years ago when fans booed the spinner belt. Yes fans, Cena’s master plan was 20 years in the making.

This is a really excellent rationale – a heel lashing out by essentially taking the only game ball and leaving is actually a much more compelling storyline than “I want to win my 17th world title” – but taking nearly 15 minutes to get that point across after last week’s soliloquy is just too much.

Maybe Cody should have walked out and simply said, “Fine speech.” At least that would have been a good payoff for having to sit through that drivel.