5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Feb 22)

3. There Is No Plan In Place For The WWE TITLE MATCH At WRESTLEMANIA

Triple H Kiss My Ass
WWE

And we’re deep into February!

Per the Observer, various names are still under consideration for what was once the most crucial match of the entire calendar year. Those names are The Undertaker, Batista, Kurt Angle, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, and Bray Wyatt.

Have you spotted the trend?

None of these men have endured the normalisation stink of main roster television lately, and are deemed worthy of WrestleMania purely on that basis. Of course, Owens, Zayn and Wyatt have been booked into oblivion in the very recent past—just not this year. Owens played a terrified man covered in sh*t last summer, and then quit, and then returned after a week. Zayn compered “Bobby’s Sisters”, among the worst segments in the history of Monday Night RAW. Bray Wyatt adopted a lisp when dressing up in drag as Thithter Abigail, and he is still deemed a more suitable candidate than the entire SmackDown roster because he hasn’t become just another body yet.

A f*cking corpse is deemed better than a body. This is where we are at now.

In terms of probability…

The Undertaker: He is, inevitably, in talks for a return. He also enjoys wrestling in Saudi Arabia, or he at least enjoys the casket-load of money, and Bryan does not, which might force a title switch. [65%]

Batista: He seems to only want to wrestle Triple H, which is odd. That will last 40 minutes, and he gets gassed after five. [15%]

Kurt Angle: He did, to the second, what Zack Ryder was meant to do at the Royal Rumble. [5%]

Kevin Owens: A terrible bowler and dropper of phones, WWE might as well repackage him as Uncle Kev, since he’s basically what became of the Shockmaster now. But, he hasn’t been on TV for a while, and feels special by default. [90%]

Sami Zayn: What an incredible wrestling match this would be. Phenomenal. But he is quite skinny. [0%]

Bray Wyatt: Custody of Rowan Ladder Match confirmed. [100%]

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!