5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Nov 30)

Watch the highlight video WWE posted to YouTube. Go to 0:50, and just listen to Drake Maverick's snicker. It is the aural translation of obnoxiousness. High-pitched, and profoundly unpleasant, this. Wasn't. Effective. Heel. Heat.

Bobby Heenan, Jim Cornette: you wanted to listen to them, and you wanted them to shut up. That first part is key. It requires talent. It requires manipulation. It requires wit. The one-dimensional Drake Maverick and Lio "Lashley, Lashley, Lashley" Rush are entirely witless, and exist only as droning, bratty vehicles for Vince McMahon's utter hatred of his audience.

Maverick cackled because, like the Little Rascal he is, he had stolen Bobby Roode's robe! He then whisked himself backstage, because he needed to go. Drake Maverick is the guy who takes leaks now. On Monday nights; continuing the nothing-means-anything theme, he exists on Wednesdays as a benevolent authority figure. And, mirroring at least two years of dire, dire main roster promotions, for which this acted as a crude metaphor, he took a piss all over it. All bodily fluids are hilarious, to Vince McMahon, but not sneezes. A sneeze is a matter of grave seriousness. That involuntary biological reflex is an affront to autonomy. This man is growing crazier by the week, and he wanted to bang his daughter on TV well over a decade ago.

Lost in all this is the fact that AOP, the Tag Team Champions, a specialist double act with a massive size advantage, needed this distraction to defeat a makeshift act that hasn't once existed on the same wavelength. That's the thing about Monday's RAW; the brainless sh*t we used to complain about has now been flushed away, never to surface again. A few weeks back, we entered the So-Bad-It's-Good Era. We are in the Winnet Era now.

We are in the midst of a famine of joy.

To WWE's credit, if everybody is now a heel, at least that means the performers who operate best as heels are now heels.

Which brings us to...