6 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Jan 26)
30 women. One winner. One tweet ruins the whole bloody thing.
On February 23, 2015, Stephanie McMahon praised Oscar-winning actress Patricia Arquette for "having the courage to fight for #WomensRights on such a grand platform," thereby pushing a woman with no WWE association far more than she had ever pushed a female independent contractor.
On that same day, on WWE "Monday Night RRRAWWWW!", Emma and Paige wrestled the Bella Twins. Paige screeched at Nikki across the ring apron. Brie pushed her off the apron. Emma bent over through the ropes to check on her partner. Brie didn't roll her up, ending the match as the Diva matches invariably ended, with these inattentive bimbos succumbing to an opportunistic pin. If only there was a brain in those pretty little heads, eh?
Brie instead turned Emma around, kicked her in the gut, and planted her with a "match"-winning Bella Buster. The entire farce lasted 30 seconds - giving rise to the "#GiveDivasAChance" hashtag. AJ Lee famously called Stephanie out on her her bullsh*t, for which she was "thanked" on Twitter. Out of sheer spite, Nikki Bella soon ended her record reign with the Divas Championship.
Stephanie took direct credit for the Women's Revolution storyline, even though her searing hypocrisy indirectly inspired the movement - and has taken credit for virtually every happening of note since, making sure to don high heels to make emblematic the suggestion that she towers above everybody.
And now, she is set to commentate on the first-ever Women's Royal Rumble Match...
6. For F*ck's F*cking Sake
It is going to be an absolute nightmare.
Stephanie screams the words "Monday Night RRRAWWWW!" in a very curious manner. Is it pitched under the pretence of enthusiasm, to bait and switch fans into louder jeers when she subsequently insults them? Or is that her attempt to emulate a positive human emotion? It's impossible to tell, since she flits between face and heel whenever the f*ck she feels like it. Stephanie is driven by pure PR, and in much the same way she transparently disclosed this - philanthropy is the the future of marketing! - she cannot help but expose the entitled, patronising id at her core. So, on Sunday, expect a slew of faint praise delivered with a screeching, overbearing tone of insincerity.
"Alicia Fox - she is so passionate. She's done little to nothing in a decade-long career - but she screams hysterically, and strong women everywhere can identify with that."
The prospect is unlistenable even before we consider the phonaesthetic "quality" of her voice. It is shudder-inducing, in that Stephanie frames every word in an irksome authoritative tone despite doing nothing but being born to inherit the earth. It's this misplaced sense of achievement, a sort of anti-gravitas, that threatens to undermine - enthusiastically! - the work of 30 women on Sunday.
Renee Young received rave reviews in a fleeting commentary stint, and is an amiable and popular presence. But she didn't invent women's wrestling, so why would WWE function as a meritocracy? In a business conference this very week, Stephanie offered the following advice: Empower your teams.