8 Match Star Ratings From WWE: The Horror Show At Extreme Rules

What was the worst match finish at The Horror Show at Extreme Rules, and how in the f*ck was it not "Rey Mysterio loses eyeball as represented by a giant gobstopper half-painted pink"?

This ruled. This absolutely ruled, and then it sucked sh*t.

It ruled when the women wrestled. Asuka and Sasha Banks went at each other hard and intelligently. With every intoxicating reversal and perfectly-angled suplex, they set a scene in which it was clear - but not obvious - that the two very skilled pro wrestlers had studied one another and arrived at the conclusion that they'd have to bring their absolute best to put the other away. This, at its exhilarating peak, was a stunning, nasty and beautiful struggle in which every phase of offence was earned. Hell, even the glaring botch served the story: Banks was so committed to the win, on her own, spirited terms that will soon turn her face, that she foreshadowed the turn with an awesome display of resolve and instincts.

It sucked sh*t when Bayley put on a referee shirt and counted the fall as if it were that easy. It was unclear if this was an obnoxious heel move, but if it was, and there are no lasting repercussions beyond a rematch in which you can simply do it again, why not just interfere after two minutes?

"But this is something the Bayley character would do!"

Yes, but there should be a character or an offscreen championship committee or some sort of goddamn narrative framework that discourages it, because it's nonsensical anticlimactic f*ckery that makes everybody involved look like a moron - you, most of all, for daring to invest. Did Sasha just think she was the Champion? Did Bayley think it was something that she could just do? Can this be classified as a hook to watch the next show?

"Tune into Monday Night RAW to find out the extent to which we hold you in contempt!"

Star Rating: ★★★¾