4. Where Are The Authorities In All This?
Just like any wrestling fan ever, I couldn't even begin to count how many aggravated assaults and attempted murders I've seen in or around a wrestling ring. Nor could I ever faithfully recreate the concern for human life in Vince McMahon's voice as he turned the commentary into a live 911 call. I can, however, count on one hand the number of criminal charges laid as a result of these incidents. Actually you could count it with no hands, because it's zero. When the Road Warriors shoved a lethal object into Dusty Rhodes' eye socket, there was no police response whatsoever, nor were they ever detained afterwards. Meanwhile, if you'd stolen a t-shirt in the same building, you'd be in handcuffs! We even found out in 1992 that bludgeoning an officer of the law within two hairs of paraplegia wasn't enough to keep you off SummerSlam. Presumably, whenever Jack Tunney booked a town he would also strike up some sort of exclusivity agreement with law enforcement, kind of (in retrospect) like the prostitutes in Sin City.
Luke Lafontaine
Contributor
CKUT radio host, underground lyricist, Michael Myers scholar and all-around world-class opiner. Signature move: Irony Bomb. Blood type: chai. Never seen in the same place and time as Logic Johnson, former featured columnist for Bleacher Report.
Hopelessly unfamiliar with Yellow Submarine.
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