A Day In The Life Of A WWE Creative Writer
“What does Mandy Rose has that we can use as a selling point? What can drive this conflict? What are women bloody like, eh?” the writer asks the room, before arriving at an epiphany. Mandy Rose has…such good t*ts!”
And so the writer pitches the basic premise of the feud—“Mandy Rose is beautiful, and Nikki Cross is ugly”—and puts pen to paper.
“I am beautiful, and Nikki Cross is ugly.”
His colleague offers a suggestion. “That isn’t dialogue,” he says. “That’s…just the pitch, written down.”
“Does it matter?”
“Not really.”
“OK. OK. This is a start. But we need something truly despicable here to put heat on Mandy. What about “You’d never see her fugly face on the front cover of a fashion magazine? It’s got the alliteration we are mandated to use.”
His colleague does a spit take. “Are you joking?” he asks, incredulous. “That is nowhere near awful enough.”
“OK…how about: “Nikki looks like an oversized rat crawling out of the Lincoln tunnel.”
The room erupts in laughter. They piss themselves. Man, that is deliciously cruel. But that’s not what’s important here.
CONT'D...(3 of 5)