CM Punk Confirms What 'CM' Means During Trial

Whilst speaking during the lawsuit filed against him by WWE doctor Chris Amman, CM Punk, with one hand pressed to a bible, was asked to reveal the meaning behind his trademark initialism.

Unlike Homer Simpson attempting to retrieve his boss' mail, the Straight Edge Superstar had no bother remembering what his 'first name' was: 'Chick Magnet.'

Good f*cking christ.

But wait! It's not as insufferable as it sounds: Punk adopted the moniker when he was part of a tag team of the same name during his backyard days, running the ropes alongside the much more intimidating sounding CM Venom.

Throughout his career, Punk - born Phillip Brooks - has come up with numerous explanations for the acronym, the most widely believed being 'Chicago Made' in reference to his hometown. His admission under oath puts all these rumours to rest.

During the trial, Brooks also launched into a tangent reminiscing about his first wrestling promo, during which he struck an opponent with a roll of coins before quipping that he had "a lot of cents." Amman's attorney objected on the grounds of irrelevance. The judge agreed.

The trial continues.