1. Santa With Muscles
As Blake Thorne, Hulk Hogan once again plays someone with a dumber name than his own pro wrestling pseudonym, and once again, in this 1996 Christmas-themed "comedy" (take that word with a grain of salt), Hogan's in the family genre. Let us be blunt: This film makes Jingle All The Way look like an oscar winner in comparison to it. Speaking of - these films came out at nearly the same time, proving once again that Hollywood is nearly incapable of having an original idea. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XiAYebVwQw By this point, it was apparent that Hogan's career as an actor was going to be limited to these sort of starring vehicles where he played a fish out of water for cheap laughs. He was far too limited to do any serious roles, and he was way too recognizable to take on bit parts in legit movies (even Dwayne Johnson would have a hard time managing that). So yet another Hogan family flick gets churned out, this time with one of the dumbest premises yet: Hogan, err, "Blake" happens to be an evil millionaire. On the run. Who gets amnesia. And winds up thinking he's Santa Claus for real, instead of just a criminal with a lot of money hiding out as Santa. And people think he's a mall Santa. Or something. It pretty much seems as if this script was assembled via a dart board with a number of clichés like "on the lam" "amnesia" "name you'll only find in the movies" pasted to it. Plus a bunch of holidays, and they hit Christmas with that last dart. Which is nominally better than the idea of Hogan dressed up as the Easter bunny. Or a giant turkey. Scratch that - those might actually have been more entertaining. Hogan's acting ability has no chance of overcoming the material here, so unless you're a masochist, just leave this one be. However, it will go down in the history books as the film debut of Mila Kunis, who would grow up to make much better career decisions than appearing in Hulk Hogan movies, and be incredibly hot, therefore making her mention in this entry a given. Now, lets all take a moment to be thankful for the fact that Hogan spent most of his time in the wrestling business, where he was fantastic, and chose not to shower us with more straight-to-video crapfests and lame family action flicks. Hogan the wrestler - a legend. Hogan the actor? We're still trying to forget about most of these movies.