It's The WWE Olympics!

9. High Jump: Neville

WWE Olympics
WWE

Jumping is the art of propelling one's body into the air in direct combat with the effects of gravity. Ultimately, however, the forces of nature win out - every time.

That is unless you're a man for whom gravity has developed a specific, exclusive type of amnesia. In other words, Newcastle native Neville - the man who the Newtonian forces forgot.

It's probably a bit unfair to have Neville competing in the high-jump, since his potential score is infinite. However, I don't think the ability to levitate is explicitly outlawed by the IOC. It's just tough luck for the rest of the participants; you can't forbid somebody for their natural advantages.

Obviously, I realise Neville can't actually float. Nevertheless, he's still capable of catching some serious hang-time in his aerial offence. He probably doesn't need to incorporate as many tortuous flips and spins into his attempt, though. No one likes a show-off.

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.