Ranking Every Major Current Wrestling Storyline From Worst To Best
The Fiend and Randy Orton are playing with fire, but the real heat is in AEW...
You'd be here all week, if this article wasn't limited to the two American majors, so this list will cover only WWE and AEW.
But for those who don't watch much in the way of independent wrestling or New Japan Pro Wrestling, the Empire Vs. TenCozy programme is unfolding quite beautifully over in the east and demands your attention.
The Empire failed to make a seismic impact at Wrestle Kingdom: Will Ospreay lost to Kazuchika Okada, the Great O'Khan lost to Hiroshi Tanahashi, and Jeff Cobb lost to Shingo Takagi. All three matches were very different. Two of them were balls-to-the-wall fantastic, particularly the latter. Cobb looked like a damn mythical creature in that ring, he exploded across it with such frightening power.
Stung by failure, Empire looked to regroup and work their way back up to the top of the card. They chose to do so at the expense of veteran unit Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima.
The problem for Empire - and the thrill for the fanbase - is that these veterans have refused to budge an inch. This is heated, body-weak-spirit-more-than-f*cking-willing stuff. Tenzan is ancient, Kojima more capable - but both would rather throw a match out than surrender to these a*sholes.
Built on transgression and honour, this is the perfect vehicle to both reheat Empire and, on an important macro level, preserve the very idea of what it means to be a legend.
If only WWE could, you know, book...
20. The Fiend Vs. Randy Orton
Fire only in the literal sense of the world, this is all so, so sh*t. And funny.
Even when analysed as a heightened supernatural tale that might be fun in a hokey sort of way, it invites total derision. There is no internal logic to itself, as best illustrated by Randy Orton claiming to have been "burnt to a crisp" and only suffering first-degree burns in the exact same promo a couple of weeks back.
The premise isn't awful - but why did Bray Wyatt wait so long to avenge the desecration of his sister's burial site? Isn't this what drove their WrestleMania 33 match four years ago? Isn’t...isn't Bray Wyatt his own sister, since he revealed himself as Abigail in his feud with Finn Bálor? Well, he does come from the backwoods.
Actually, no. The premise is awful.
The execution is worse. At TLC, in the Firefly Inferno match, the Fiend set the ThunderDome alight. This attempt at a cool visual opened up a rather vast plot hole: why didn't he simply set Orton on fire, thus A) winning the match and B) avoiding immolation?
This is all Very Bray Wyatt: aspirational cool visuals that don't make any sense when a tiny bit of critical thought is applied to them. All the gear, nae idea.
He was immolated, and his spirit appears to have inhabited Alexa Bliss, whose mind he was controlling anyway, so what's the f*cking point. Bliss enacted vengeance by throwing a fireball at Orton's face, which he covered up - aside from his new Sir Alex Ferguson nose - with a luchador mask.
It's sh*te, and it's going to be even more sh*te the next time somebody hits the Fiend with a superkick or something.
He can't die! What's a chinlock going to do?!