Ranking Every Major Current Wrestling Storyline From Worst To Best

18. Miro & Kip Sabian Vs. Best Friends

Orton Fiend Moxley Fenix
AEW

This has reeked.

This has reeked as a storyline within its own sh*tty parameters. This isn't just frivolous in its stakes and wasteful of its resources. This is actively nonsensical and destructive - shockingly awful, given AEW's otherwise exceptional standards.

It all began with a busted arcade machine in an attempt to transition from the FTR Vs. Best Friends feud to this one. "You break my sh*t" was a halfway cute line but it covered very childish subject matter. Less cute was the personification of "Alan", said arcade machine. These are are children fighting over a toy, or toys plural, since Orange Cassidy subsequently hit the reset button on Sabian's XBox which, again, was something a 15 year-old would do and a 15 year-old would get annoyed at. This isn't anywhere near charming enough to get over as something oddly relatable. This is simulated combat in a company that rewards winning.

These men are not winning. Or losing. They are barely even wrestling; this low-stakes bullsh*t has dragged on and on for months, which is as pointless as it is illogical: in a booking quirk, Tony Khan is often suspiciously quick to make matches for the following week at the very hint of physical contact.

There is no stag do as promised. The wedding is next week. Chuck Taylor had to sell the turmoil of becoming Miro's butler, even though they've done nothing with it and his contract expires next week, too. It's no big dilemma, is it. Worse still, even though he A) knew the length of the contract and B) could tell "Charles" said as much under duress, Orange Cassidy had to sell his heartbreak over his friend saying he was no longer his friend.

For a fortnight.

This whole mess has made Orange Cassidy, kayfabe master strategist, look like a moron. It has made Miro look like the opposite of a hoss monster.

"Chuck Taylor might look funny in a suit" is not a good enough subplot pivot to account for Trent's injury.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!