Ranking Every Wrestling Wedding EVER!
18. Goldust And Aksana
In the wacky days of NXT being nothing but complete garbage, Aksana was a competitor on the show and Goldust was her mentor. As the season went on we found out that she had a bit of a problem. While her dream was to be a wrestler (despite appearing to not have never trained to be one), she was having visa problems and was going to be deported from the United States. To save her career, Goldust asked her to marry him and she gladly accepted.
On a live episode of NXT, the wedding took place with both Cody and Dusty Rhodes in attendance. Oh, and Hornswoggle too, because virtually half the weddings WWE has ever put on have featured a little person. Josh Matthews and Michael Cole were on commentary, and much like the Curtis/Maxine wedding had carte blanche to say whatever they wanted. The chose to s**t on the entire segment. Fair enough. At one point the minister badly botched his lines, to which Cole gleefully exclaimed “Is that Al Wilson?” If only.
In a swerve, the minister walked off because he was hired by Ted DiBiase. This meant Aksana had to go back to her home country, and Agent Dickapopolous (yes, that’s the name they gave him...which is so stupid it's awesome) was going to arrest her. However, in an even bigger swerve, Ted DiBiase Sr. came in to save the day and took over as the minister!
It seemed like we were going to have a happy ending, but Aksana turned on Goldust and slapped him as soon as he went in for a kiss. The following week she said she got what she wanted with her visa and also got half his money too. It’s almost too bad they split them up so soon, as the pairing could have been kind of fun. But all WWE wanted was one crappy segment out of their marriage, and so that’s what they got.
Still, Goldust in a tux and face paint is kind of funny.