The 2024 Alternative WhatCulture Wrestling Awards

One of the problems with wrestling these days is that it’s bad in the wrong way. Tony Khan will tell you AEW is "great" - but he's wrong.

It’s not fun bad; it’s a bland stripe of bad. Almost everything wrong with modern wrestling is in a soulless vein. You’re far more likely to feel a detached boredom than anger or indignation or even schadenfreude. The era of so-bad-it’s-good is dead - as is the all-time worst stuff ever - replaced by a dull consensus.

Wrestlers have developed a cheat sheet for crafting a match that will earn a decent WON star rating. Fans, increasingly, are wise to it. The “This is awesome” chant has never sounded more robotic or half-hearted. The way in which a typical wrestling match progresses has such a pattern and cynicism to it now. The idea that the match must be great needs to die.

The match must be won, and should be incidentally great.

Things must be pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty bad if Rip Rogers has revealed himself to be an oracle.

As a byproduct of this “Yeah that was good I guess” ennui, wrestling is nowhere near as fun to take the piss out of anymore. But, if you work hard enough, much like life, hate will find a way.

If you miss the snark that was once so pervasive in pro wrestling fandom, fear not and read on…

11. Business Respecter Of The Year

You gotta respect the business, kid.

When CM Punk buried AEW and Tony Khan in his interview with Ariel Helwani, Adam Copeland was frogmarched onto Dynamite and, in the opening segment, cut a promo that might as well have been penned by a freakazoid engagement account. “The WWE roster of 2008 was stacked,” Copeland said. “But’s it got nothing on Where The Best Wrestle!”

Smash cut to: Daddy Ass going over Jay White.

Darby Allin threatened to become a glorified mascot at various points this year, but the award goes to FTR.

It’s always FTR.

Dax Harwood cut a rah-rah speech on Collision…which was heckled. People were tired of his constant “I gave my body to this business, which I love more than anything!” droning.

Dax loves being in the ring so much that, if he were to miss a bronco buster spot, he’d just keep going.

At this rate, much like the Best Technical Wrestler award in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter is named after Bryan Danielson, you might as well call this the Dax Harwood Award For Respecting The Gotdang Business.

10. The Playing Dumb Award

Tony Khan said, on the pre-All In media call, that Ricky Starks has been a “great star” for AEW, and that he thinks “very highly” of the former World Tag Team champion.

Starks, meanwhile, has maintained across various media outlets that he’s healthy, raring and willing to go.

So why did he spend the vast majority of 2024 on the shelf?

Starks is indeed a great wrestler, but since he likes Cody Rhodes more than Jim Ross likes Jake Hager, it would seem that Khan won’t book him because he feels he’s WWE-bound. Would Starks happily get jobbed on the way out?

That seems unlikely, since Starks himself has revealed that he didn’t want to feud against (or even team with) Big Bill. He hasn’t exactly put himself forward as a dude who will do whatever.

Somebody is lying here, but who is it? The wrestler or the wrestling promoter?

To answer that question would be impossible. CM Punk would find it easier to pass a polygraph test and execute a flying elbow drop simultaneously.

The winner, however, is Malakai Black - who, after losing to Adam Cole on the November 6 Dynamite via noble surrender, made such a big massive deal out of doing a routine televised job that everybody thought he was off to the Fed. He then had the gall to scold people for thinking that.

Can’t a guy make a grand exit without you thinking that he’s leaving?!

9. Company Takeover Angle Of The Year

The Young Bucks threw a tantrum at Full Gear 2023 and only returned in early 2024 to rid AEW of Sting, who to them epitomised the old legend that the company was founded in defiance of.

OK.

The story and Sting’s retirement rocked, so that was fine.

What wasn’t fine was the Bucks, now adopting a vague purpose of Changing the World, physically attacking Tony Khan and “taking over” AEW. The shows to which Khan couldn’t travel, outside of the Bucks’ own segments, were identical. Oh no, the Bucks just booked a match in which a wrestler has to fight their rival’s stablemate ahead of the pay-per-view. Tony would hate that!!

The Bucks then fought ‘Team AEW’ in Anarchy In The Arena and Blood & Guts matches. The first one was awesome, if pointless. Nothing was on the line. The Bucks held onto power, the extent of which was never once determined.

AEW must have been “saved” somewhere along the way, though, since it was marketed as ‘Where The Best Wrestle’. That must make the promotion pretty good, yes?

Wrong. It sucked and needed saving again, according to Jon Moxley, who took over AEW after retiring Bryan Danielson and winning the AEW World title.

Mox buried Private Party for staying in the same spot for five years. The Death Riders broke Zay’s hand. Private Party then went on a speed-run to win the AEW World Tag Team titles. Neither side acknowledged this development. John Silver threatened the Death Riders with nunchucks before the big nWo retread was consigned to its own pocket of the show.

It’s a tough decision, so let’s go with neither. And, while we’re at it, let’s never do this again.

8. Triple Threat Tournament Of The Year

God, there’s just too many to pick from.

Who could forget the classic that was Lyra Valkyria Vs. Shayna Baszler Vs. Kairi Sane on the June 24 Raw?

In April, WWE booked two Triple Threat semi-finals to determine the number one contender to Cody Rhodes’ Undisputed WWE title. In June, WWE booked Triple Threat qualifiers to determine the entrants in the men’s Money In The Bank ladder match. In June, WWE booked Triple Threat qualifiers to determine the entrants in the women’s Money In The Bank ladder match. In August, WWE held a Triple Threat tournament to determine the number one contender to the Intercontinental title.

In October, WWE booked Triple Threat matches to determine the number one contenders to the World Tag Team titles. In November, WWE booked Triple Threat matches in the first round of the Women’s United States title tournament. In December, WWE booked Triple Threat matches in the first round of the Women’s Intercontinental title tournament.

Paul Levesque likes a series of matches even more than Tourney Khan. It’s no wonder the guy who patterned his act after Shane Douglas likes a Triple Threat as much as Triple H does.

Paul Levesque doesn’t get anywhere near enough grief for lazily rehashing this format every month (and for his use of, erm, historical iconography).

7. Worst Rub Of The Year

Chris Jericho feuded with HOOK in 2024, and while it felt like it took years off your life, it only lasted five months.

The programme started, as these things often do, with Jericho offering his services as a mentor. Why he wasn’t interested in pursuing titles is anybody’s guess, but by 2024, he was deep in his meta go-away heat slop.

HOOK teamed up with Jericho initially, but HOOK soon spurned his advances, presumably after looking in the direction of Sammy Guevara - through a telescope, since he was hardly seen in an AEW building all year.

Jericho defeated HOOK for the FTW title at Dynasty. The match went 17 minutes, throughout which the fans begged Jericho to retire, and dragged down an otherwise incredible pay-per-view.

Katsuyori Shibata was added to the dynamic at Double Or Nothing, in a slightly less offensive match, before HOOK regained the FTW title in a 10 minutes singles at All In: London. This was a match one person wanted - Chris Jericho - but it had to happen regardless. Because Chris Jericho.

Ultimately, though, HOOK won the feud, and advanced up the card.

Except he didn’t; where Jericho wrestled Mark Briscoe in the semi main event of WrestleDream, HOOK missed his second consecutive pay-per-view.

He didn’t make Full Gear, either.

6. The “We’re Still Doing This?” Moment Of The Year

By 2020, AEW had handily defeated NXT in the Wednesday Night War. Lots of factors converged to make this so, and while NXT wasn’t an actively bad show, it was dry.

When 2021 unfolded, Triple H booked former Undisputed Era stablemates Adam Cole and Kyle O’Reilly in a programme. As overlong and indulgent as the main event of Bad Blood 2004, this rivalry epitomised the NXT problem. It was just too much.

In 2024, AEW sought to capitalise on WWE continuity towards which even WWE fans hold no nostalgia. This was a bit like a pupil doing somebody else’s homework for them three years after they left school.

Strife within the Undisputed Era - in AEW, in 2024 - was tacked onto the storyline between Adam Cole and MJF, which itself was past its expiration date. Can’t wait for Tony Khan to sign Dolph Ziggler, who just needs a push to make it to the main event level. Raven is doing something kewl with his Seven Deadly Sins angle on Heat, let’s bring him in.

You have to wonder if Cole, the sweetheart, might, deep down, resent the fact that he’s tethered to his close friends for all eternity. This thought might even enter his head before he dismisses it.

“Stop being a dingus, Adam! Kyle’s your brother!”

5. Crime Of The Year

Mercedes Moné urged Kamille to kill Kris Statlander with a car on Dynamite this year. When Kamille failed in this attempt at vehicular homicide, Mercedes buried her. It was reduced to a gag.

It was not the only serious crime committed this year; Shawn Michaels pushed Ridge Holland.

Daniel Garcia kidnapped Jack Perry, chained him to a bus, and took him for a joyride; Garcia also stole MJF’s property; Jon Moxley tried to poison Orange Cassidy with bleach before FTR made the save.; Hangman Page committed arson by burning Swerve Strickland’s childhood home to the ground; Darby Allin tried to incinerate Jack Perry, which did a better job of setting him on fire than the booking; Christian Cage carjacked a stranger to get away from Swerve Strickland…

There is an Italian-American crime family in NXT, and they don’t even get a dishonourable mention for f*ck’s sake!

At this rate, there are more criminals in AEW than in Dark Side of the Ring.

Assaults are common in pro wrestling. Even the most pedantic critics can’t deny that this is how basic wrestling plots are advanced. This veritable crime spree, however, was preposterous.

The award goes to Chris Jericho.

4. Lair Of The Year

MJF resumed his feud with Adam Cole upon the latter’s return from injury. It was a bad idea - the Devil was now a babyface, which was a subtle clue that too much time had passed - made plain weird as a result of MJF’s busy acting schedule.

As Adam Cole scored victories en route to the big climactic match, a very obviously not live MJF - who has suddenly become a Unit 27-level pianist - was shown reacting in pretapes. The thing is, he was shown in what can only be described as a lair. Supping red wine, in a castle, in the background perched atop a lectern was a gigantic book, which can only be described as a tome.

What was he reading: James Joyce’s Ulysses?

Or a list of titles promoted by Tony Khan?

Why was he reading such a book?

Was…was this meant to be his grand secret book of supervillain plans?

Here’s what (hopefully) happened: MJF, when filming one of his projects, was escorted to another studio to fulfil his contractual obligations to AEW. A production gopher, told that they were required to find a space suitable for a villainous wrestler, marched him onto the set of a Bram Stoker’s Dracula reboot, or something.

MJF didn’t have a great year, but he casually wrestled a high-end Will Ospreay match purely because he can. He’s disgustingly talented.

Let’s hope he uses those superpowers for good in 2025.

3. Excuse Of The Year

Jimmy Uso Vs. Jey Uso at WrestleMania XL was a good old-fashioned disaster. In an age in which Dave Meltzer’s DUD has been replaced by a ****¼ minimum, the Uso twins brought back a much-missed staple of yore: the turkey.

Sh*tting the bed with the enthusiasm of a sleep-regressed toddler, Jey and Jimmy just spammed superkicks for 11 minutes.

WWE likes to do “cinema,” which is funny: What A Deranged WWE Tribalist Thinks A Young Bucks Match Looks Like is hardly going to get added to the Criterion Collection any time soon.

Jey Uso was asked by Gorilla Position for his thoughts on the match, and why it generated such a negative response. His excuse?

It was cut for time.

There’s still a lot you can do in 11 minutes.

What’s funny is that the Young Bucks, at the original All In, had their main event cut for time. It was reduced from a half hour to - yes! - 11 minutes, and it still tore the house down.

Will that settle the long, bitter culture war between each set of fans?

No.

2. Carny Of The Year

Billy Gunn knows what he’s doing.

Still sort of over as ‘Daddy Ass’, he’s also very well-versed in the dark arts of staying over. He knows how to get his own way. He seems to be an amiable yet sly sort of chap with an ability to charm (or ooze) his way into a booker’s ear.

On the April 3 Dynamite, Billy Gunn wrestled Jay White. Gunn was a 60 year-old manager; Jay White a 31 year-old wrestler who had headlined an AEW pay-per-view 137 days prior to the match. It went 11 minutes, and Billy Gunn won via disqualification when Jay, who just couldn’t get it done, had to blast Daddy Ass with a low blow. Hedgehogs are more protected than this f*ckin’ guy.

You can’t get Daddy Ass off television…unless his Acclaimed stable are in a position to look weak.

In October, Renee Paquette interviewed the Acclaimed backstage. Daddy Ass excused himself from the room, claiming he had to get the car started before they all went to the gym. MVP then entered the frame. He said, handing over his business card, that it was time for the Acclaimed to get serious.

Did Billy Gunn save himself from this mild verbal burial because it would have been unrealistic for him to be there and not kick MVP’s ass?

Hmmm.

That might be too cynical - but Daddy Ass was nowhere to be seen when MVP, bemoaning the Acclaimed’s lack of recent success, ramped up the recruitment efforts on the November 10 Collision.

There was more chance of Bruce Prichard turning up in AEW than there was of Billy Gunn being featured in those segments.

The actual winner is Chris Jericho.

1. Conspiracy Theory Of The Year

Across 2024, AEW found itself in a less than ideal position. Houses, ratings, buzz: everything was down.

Did NXT seek to capitalise on this?

Ahead of an ECW nostalgia show, Shawn Michaels brought in Bully Ray and his Busted Open co-host Dave LaGreca. They had no idea who the debuting Zaria was - legitimately, they might as well have said “Whats-her-name just made an impact!” - and this was put in place only for Bully to do a table spot head-to-head with AEW.

Then, weeks later, Eric Bischoff turned up. He drew the worst demo rating in forever, but he still turned up.

What do Eric Bischoff and Bully Ray have in common? Well, other than being chuds?

Both appear on a podcast designed to generate listens through criticising AEW. It can’t be a coincidence that both appeared on NXT for 500 quid. The optics look bad, if the critics are close in the ratings.

What’s next? Jim Cornette endorsing Ridge Holland?

Doesn’t sound too dissimilar to his ROH run, to be fair.